When I talk about the violence of heteronormativity, this is precisely what I mean. These experiences are almost universal experiences for non-heterosexual people who are conditioned in societies that assume/demand heterosexuality from its members. Being raised in these environments leaves an indelible impact on the queers who endure them. These violent heteronormative marks cannot be removed, even if they can be rationalised and turned into a source of strength by the (few) queers who step into their own power and learn to overcome and transform them. For the rest of the queers who are too traumatised by it, they can look forward to a lifetime of self-loathing, fear, and internalised homophobia projected onto other queers.
This is why I think heteronormativity is the NUMBER 1 issue we queers all face today (it always has been the most significant issue we all face). This is why I am so maddened with current mainstream LGBT politics, with its insane focus on mainly white gay male concerns (such as gay marriage). And this is why I get so angry when these gay marriage proponents claim that the legalisation of same-sex marriage will work as some sort of silver bullet against heteronormative violence.
Why? Because marriage equality does absolutely nothing to address heteronormative violence. And there are plenty of good arguments that suggest gay marriage might in fact increase instances as described in the quotes above. I know I can see a very clear connection between the equality rhetoric of the LGBT gay marriage evangelists, with their focus on “normality” and assimilation, and the rise of self-hating, homophobic gays obsessed with “normal” and “masc”. And I’m not the only one.
If only the bewilderingly huge amount of dollars being poured into the gay marriage campaign was poured into raising consciousness and awareness of heteronormativity amongst all people - hetero and homo and everyone in-between - discriminatory laws would fall to the side in an instant. As it stands, these laws so many LGBT’s are fighting so hard to have changed will barely scratch the surface of our problems once they are enacted.
I don’t know about you, but that seems like complete lunacy to me.